This Is It -- Day 1

So. This is it. This is where I have finally decided that enough is enough. Four days ago I sat in a Target dressing room, staring at myself in the mirror, wondering how I got here. Memory after memory of how my weight has affected my life and my happiness flashed through my head. I tried to figure out what it was that had kept me from getting rid of it earlier. And then it hit me... nothing had kept me from losing the weight except myself. All I ever did was ask myself why my sisters were a size 2, when I was a size 16. All I ever thought about was how come I'd gotten the "fat genes." Never once did I tell myself, "yes, you are heavier than everyone around you. But that doesn't mean you have to keep being that way." I'd kept myself fat! I'll admit it. I'd rather eat cookies and watch television shows about the skinny people I wanted to look like than actually look at myself in a mirror and do something about it. So this is what I'm doing... I'm finally doing something about it. 

I'll admit... this is scary as hell. Putting this blog out there for the entire world to see- with my current weight, my weight loss goals, my daily eating log, and my exercise chart- isn't something I really necessarily WANT to do. But I do know that it is something that I actually HAVE to do. Because if not, these 75 pounds are going to stay stuck on me, and more are just going to pile themselves on until I hate myself. I can't do this anymore. And I won't. 

So please, help me out here, friends. If I'm being honest enough to share all this with you, and to show you what I really am under my trademark cardigans and jeans, then please help me. Encourage me. Congratulate me. Understand me. Inspire me. I'm actually going to be selfish here and ask for all this. I know you guys can help me. And I know I can do this... now that I know that it's now or never.

Stay tuned for my first real blog in a few hours... you'll see my current weight, what I ate today, and how much exercise I've done so far. *Gulp.* Yeah, not looking forward to this one ;)